


Pacts

by Cargo



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-10 23:43:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18418355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cargo/pseuds/Cargo
Summary: Who takes care of Buck?





	Pacts

**Author's Note:**

> Sup, homies! ~ So just a heads up, this was inspired by a line in Promises, but it's technically a standalone. Wrote half of this at 3am so I'm hoping it meets all Quality Standards™ ~ Thanks to all of you sweet angels for the big time support that you've blessed me with, your comments have meant the world to me and truly make my days. Enjoy! <3

It was the end of shift and everyone was _exhausted_.

Today, the culprit wasn't just the physical wear and tear associated with their job, it was the mentally gruelling scenes and the sting of fresh loss that plagued them today.

Thankfully they hadn't lost anyone from their team, but when that apartment complex had exploded just as they were about to go in, ending the lives of three families, nobody was celebrating. It was a completely somber day and some were taking it harder than others.

Buck's beating himself up the worst. _If only I'd been a minute earlier, if only I'd thought to shut off the gas valve, if only I could've gotten my gear on faster._

Those are the thoughts that run through his mind as he replays the scenario thousands of times in his mind. He relentlessly beats the punching bag, his head somewhere so far away that he doesn't even notice Eddie come into the room. 

"Buck." Eddie calls from a few feet behind him.

Buck doesn't stop, he doesn't even hear anything. He just keeps laying savage blows against the bag, no regard for the strain he's putting on his own body.

"Evan." Eddie tries again, stepping to the side to catch Buck's peripheral.

This time Buck freezes. The use of his first name catches his attention, pulling him from his perpetually chaotic state of mind. He shuts his eyes for a moment, taking a second to compose himself before he turns to Eddie. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Eddie shrugs, pulling on a set of pads and beckoning for Buck to take some swings at the foam.

Buck obliges, haphazardly making contact with the pads, almost hitting a little too hard for Eddie to brace against.

"It's been a hard day." Eddie points out after a particularly powerful swing.

"And?"

"And when Cap goes home at the end of the day, he's got Athena to fall back on, Hen's got her wife, Chim's got Maddie, I got Chris. Who taking care of you?"

"Me?" Buck stops his assault on Eddie's hands. "I don't need to be taken care of." He shrugs, ripping off his gloves and walking away before Eddie could get out another word.

 

Eddie finds him in the showers a few minutes later, or at least, he hears the spray hitting the tiled floor and there's a pile of Buck sized clothes on the floor in front of the active stall.

"Hey." He murmurs, leaning against the wall beside the stall Buck was in.

"Really not a good time." Buck shoots out in annoyance.

Eddie detects a brokenness in Buck's voice, it's almost rough, as if he'd been crying or trying really hard not to.

"What's wrong?" Eddie asks and he's really desperate for an answer because he hates this feeling. He hates that Buck is hurting and he hates that he can't do anything about it.

"Eddie, really, can you just—" Buck trails off slowly. Inside the shower stall, behind the curtain, Buck's arms are braced against the wall, his head dipped, water rolling over him. "I'm fine."

Eddie nods slowly. "Are you?" 

The way he asks, so caring and genuine, makes Buck stop and think for a second. Because really, he wasn't okay. He was far from fine and far from whatever else he'd been telling people he was.

"Yeah." Buck eventually croaks out, every fiber of his being already reprimanding him. "Everyone else was there and they're all fine, and I'm fine too."

"Come over after shift." Eddie suggests, a hopeful kind of energy behind the words.

"Why?" Buck asks, all quiet with emotions flooding through every feature.

Eddie pauses, his head and his heart in two different places but working together all the same. "Because I'm taking care of you."

Buck pokes his head past the curtain that covered the stall, the most bewildered look of confusion on his face and _really_ , it's sad that it's that surprising. "What?"

"I'm taking care of you." Eddie repeats softly, no joking, no teasing, no _anything_ in his voice. It's just genuine and raw, it's everything Buck didn't know he needed to hear. 

Buck nods numbly and he doesn't really know what to say, because he doesn't really know what it means. He doesn't know how to be taken care of, he doesn't know what the protocol is.

Eddie gives him a little smile and walks away, leaving tension and curiosity in his wake.

Buck gets dressed, he rejoins the team in the common area, and he does feel a little better. 

He's stopped focusing on the call and now he's looking forward to tomorrow, he's looking forward to getting through the last half of the twenty-four hour shift and going to Eddie's. It does help some, knowing he doesn't have to be alone with his thoughts after this.

Every now and then, throughout the rest of the day, Eddie finds ways to ground him. Whether it's a hand on his shoulder when they brush by each other, or even just bringing him a coffee, fingers _maybe_ lingering a little too long when he passes the warm mug. At night, it's hanging out and talking softly in the kitchen because neither could sleep worth shit and really, together is better.

Morning comes uneventfully, no calls to get them through the long hours of the night.

The crew all say their goodbyes and part ways, ready to enjoy a day off before their next shift.

Eddie takes Buck home. They drive separately, but he takes Buck home.

They're exhausted and emotionally spent, Buck more so than Eddie. It's a big effort to keep their eyes open, it's _work_ to get through the front door.

They stumble and they crawl beneath Eddie's sheets and really, Buck's too tired to notice. He could've been in the President's bed and he still wouldn't have taken it in. And Eddie—Eddie doesn't have the brain capacity to realize it's the first person he's had in his bed since he moved to LA.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep." Buck insists softly, eyes bloodshot and heavy.

Eddie shrugs, sitting up on his side, letting the headboard support his weight. "You never know." He pulls the blankets over Buck, who buries himself into the pillows, into the scent of Eddie, into the safety.

He brushes his hand over Buck's forehead, pushing his short hair back and watching Buck become visibly more relaxed. He continues to card his fingers through Buck's hair and next thing he know, Buck's breaths have evened out and he's asleep.

When Buck is for sure, _definitely_ , down for the count, he gives himself permission to nod off for a little while too, he's going to need the energy.

Chris is at Shannon's so the place is eerily quiet when Eddie wakes up around noon. He looks over groggily, Buck's buried under a mound of blankets with only his hair sticking out and Eddie can't help but smile. 

He gets up carefully, trying not to jostle the bed as he stands. He looks back a couple of times, just to make sure Buck is still sleeping, before he quietly sneaks out of the room.

He makes them some lunch and coffee, brings it to the bedroom, and begins the process of waking Buck up. He sits on the edge of the bed, and he really doesn't want to get Buck up because he's so cute when he's asleep, but he can't remember the last time he saw the guy eat.

"Evan." Eddie whispers softly, pulling back the blankets a little. He leads with the first name this time because it always seems to work better than 'Buck'. It makes him feel extraordinarily special too, because not many people called him 'Evan' and he'd like to think that means he's achieved an exclusive position in Buck's life.

Buck's eyes flutter open and he looks at Eddie with curious eyes, "Eddie?" He mumbles incoherently, frowning as he readjusts his sore body.

"You alright?" Eddie asks simply, unable to drag the smile off his face.

"Yeah, uh, I just—" Buck mumbles, "I'm at your place?"

Eddie nods, raising an eyebrow. 

"In your bed?" Buck asks directly after, a clear undertone to his voice as he 

"Yeah," Eddie laughs, eyes lighting up because he's watching his sleepy Buck and his heart is filling _quickly_. "We just passed out here when we got home from shift, just—you know."

Buck nods slowly.

"I made you some lunch." Eddie shrugs, motioning to the plate on the nightstand and the coffee beside it.

"You made me lunch." Buck repeats, looking up at Eddie somewhere in the spectrum of perplexed and a little lost.

Eddie nods, "You seem surprised."

"A little bit."

"Well stop being surprised and start being hungry," Eddie smiles like he hasn't in a long time. It really comes with the territory of watching Buck yawn and stretch out like that.

"Well," Buck shrugged, "I'm always hungry."

They ate in comfortable since, finally talking when it was just the coffee in their hands.

"So," Buck began slowly, looking a little apprehensive but determined nonetheless, "You basically said I have no one."

"Hmm?" Eddie frowned, looking up at Buck's troubled expression.

"Earlier, you said everyone had someone, except me. You asked me who takes care of me." Buck clarified, eyes levelling with Eddie's.

"Oh I didn't mean—" Eddie pauses, sees the battle of emotions on Buck's features. "—I didn't know if you were dating again or... I mean, I guess I wanted to know if anyone was looking out for you."

"Why?"

"Because I care." Eddie shrugs after a moment, "And I wanted to make sure you weren't alone after that call."

Buck readjusts until he's sitting straighter. "You didn't want me to be alone?"

Eddie shook his head, "Not while you were in that mindset. I've been there."

"Not the first time I've felt like shit after a call," Buck is hesitant in his reply. He's not really sure where this is going, but he decides just to follow his gut and keep talking. "And I'm still fine."

"Yeah." Eddie nods, ducking his head a little as he looks at Buck pensively, "You don't have to be."

Buck smiles a little, heart flaring in response. "Yeah, well—" Buck pauses and it's not hard to tell he's fighting with his words, "I gotta be."

"You have me." Eddie reaches out tentatively, grabbing Buck's hand and smiling when he receives a tight grip in response. "You don't gotta be strong you know. You have me."

Buck just grins and nods shyly, "You got me too."

"Let's make a pact." Eddie says suddenly, not loosening his grip on Buck's hand.

"A pact?"

"When it's just you and me, no tough guy acts, no trying to be okay when we're not." The words flow off Eddie's tongue and Buck can't help but get excited because this is _everything_ to him.

"Yes." Buck nods, searching Eddie's eyes because he wants to know if there's _more_ to it.

Eddie continues carefully, "And when we're not okay, we actually  _tell_ each other instead of bottling it up like idiots—" Buck's eyes are alight with a fire that Eddie hasn't seen in a while and he's encouraged by it. "—and no matter what, we always gotta be there for each other. No matter what. Even if we hate each other's guts."

"Alright." Buck thinks for a moment, "Can I make the first confession?"

Eddie nods his head and waits in anticipation. 

"It was an awful call." Buck speaks slowly, carefully planning his words, something he isn't really known for. It adds a whole new layer of interest for Eddie. "But hasn't been the hardest thing in my life lately."

Eddie tilts his head in slight confusion. He feels compelled to ask: "What has?"

"You."

"Me?" Suddenly Eddie is absolutely terrified because he has no idea what he's done wrong and he can't bear the thought of hurting Buck.

"Well, not you—" Buck looks close to floundering but Eddie is patient. "—It's just—" He looks frustrated at himself as he grates his free hand over his face. Eddie is elated that Buck is allowing him to continue holding his other hand, it makes the short silence easier to wait through.

Buck grips the back of his own neck and steadies himself in Eddie's soft gaze. "I'm in love... with you." He says softly, internally panicking when the words left his lips. "And I know you'll never feel the same and that's okay, but it's hard—"

"Shut up." Eddie interrupts, eyes wide.

Buck sighs and he doesn't even know why he's just admitted the one thing he swore he'd never talk about, his deepest darkest secret was out in the open and he might've just ruined the best friendship he'd ever had. He could feel the heat flood through his face, his heart beat double time. "I'm sorry. Uh, can we just forget about this?" Buck pleads, almost begs. "Can we just forget I ever said anything? I know that nothing could ever...I don't know why I thought—I—I know that you don't feel the same way and stuff and I'm not expecting you to—I didn't mean to ruin things—"

"Shut up." Eddie repeated, taking away Buck's coffee and setting it on the nightstand. Eddie smoothly moved over to him and swung a leg over his legs, sitting in his lap and straddling his hips.

Watching Buck's eyes widen and fill with hope was a sight that Eddie would have ingrained in his mind for the rest of his life. He was so beautiful like this, he was so perfect and he was everything that Eddie could ever dream about.

He leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. "Buck."

Buck, his heart racing and body almost trembling, nodded.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah." Buck's husky voice cracked as he spoke, his mind spinning as Eddie's lips suddenly met his own. It was something he'd only ever dreamt about, he'd come to terms with the fact that he could never have what he truly wanted and he thought he was okay that. He thought he was okay with watching from afar, with longing gazes, with letting the fantasy stay just that—a fantasy.

Now Eddie's kissing him and he's  _withering_.

His entire world is crashing down around him and turning into a completely different planet. He kisses back eagerly and lets out a soft noise of approval, letting Eddie know that this— _this_ is what he wants.

He wants to be close, he wants to be kissed and he wants to be taken care of. 

Eddie gets the message loud and clear and he makes sure Buck understands that this isn't some kind of friendly gesture. It's crucial that Buck knows this isn't just because he's made a promise to look out for him, he wants the other man to see that this is what _mutual attraction_ looks like. He wants his best friend to realize that they can be more than best friends, just say the word. Or moan. Make that sound, Buck, _again_.

Buck groans softly against Eddies lips, body catching up with his head. He's cupping Eddie's face in his hands, holding him like he's worth everything. Because _he is._

"I love you." Eddie utters pulling back slightly because yeah, he wants to see Buck's reaction to that.

He's not disappointed. Buck's in awe, then he has an incredible smile on those perfect lips, the ones Eddie's just been kissing. He buries his head into Eddie's chest, his forehead resting against the man's sternum. Eddie wraps his arms around Buck, a soft smile lighting up his eyes.

Buck can feel the other's heartbeat, reverberating through the chest wall and giving away the heightened speed at which the organ was pumping.

"Eddie." Buck whispers quietly, so vulnerable and to Eddie, so faultless and beautiful.

"Evan." Eddie replies, pressing a kiss to the top of Buck's head, making his heart thrum.

"Eddie. Oh, man." Buck shakes his head, still hardly believing this was actually _happening_ , "There's a lot to figure out."

"We'll have time for that." Eddie murmurs with a soft laugh. "First, more kissing."

Buck's grinning when he tilts his head up to face Eddie, "Heck yes."


End file.
